Feast of the Holy Family
December 31, 2006
SIXTH REFLECTION: “Love is the choice to do good for another.”
Hollywood tells us that love is all about feelings, but real love is more an activity of the will than an emotion. Granted, feelings of affection can make the daily choices of doing good for another easier, but the feelings themselves are not love. Love is always the choice to do good for another.
To illustrate this point to younger couples getting married, I always tell them as part of my wedding homily that God willing in a year or two, they will awaken at two in the morning to the sound of a baby crying.” The first couple of nights they’re going to think this is cute, especially if its baby number one. But after a few nights of sleep deprivation they won’t think it so cute getting up in the wee hours to care for a crying baby. They won’t feel very affectionate at 2:00 a.m., but none the less, they’ll get up, change a dirty diaper, feed the baby and even rock that little guy for hours before he or she finally dozes off again. That choice to do good for their child is love.
When I was a young teenager, one of my best friend’s mom was a bit of a nut case. (Trust me, I’m being kind here.) She physically and verbally abused my friend repeatedly, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say constantly. Even after all these years I can still vividly recall the following....
My friend’s mom was once again trying to beat him, but this time he held her off with a kitchen knife. He was waving the knife back and forth, feigning a jab here and a jab there as he mom tried to get to him. The adrenaline was flowing and my friend was hyper to the max. Suddenly he gasped and fainted. His mom pounced on him and began to pound on his chest with her fist as she cried “I love you. I love you.” And all I could think was “Thank God she doesn’t love me.”
My friends, love doesn’t hurt the beloved. If you are physically, emotionally, sexually, or verbally abusing family members or others, stop it now! Do not delude yourself, abusive behavior is not love.
Love is the choice to do good!
So make those new year resolutions. Resolve to enrich the soil of your family this year with love. It is God’s will that every member of your family should bloom and reach his or her full human potential. Remember:
1. Family Comes Before Things
2. Love means sharing yourself and your time
3. Touch is the Bond of Love. Love is not innate. It is learned through the experience of being loved.
4. Love is the choice to forgive.
5. Love is the choice to accept others as they are.
6. Love is the choice to do good for another.
St. John: “Let us love in deeds....and not merely talk about it.”
Hollywood tells us that love is all about feelings, but real love is more an activity of the will than an emotion. Granted, feelings of affection can make the daily choices of doing good for another easier, but the feelings themselves are not love. Love is always the choice to do good for another.
To illustrate this point to younger couples getting married, I always tell them as part of my wedding homily that God willing in a year or two, they will awaken at two in the morning to the sound of a baby crying.” The first couple of nights they’re going to think this is cute, especially if its baby number one. But after a few nights of sleep deprivation they won’t think it so cute getting up in the wee hours to care for a crying baby. They won’t feel very affectionate at 2:00 a.m., but none the less, they’ll get up, change a dirty diaper, feed the baby and even rock that little guy for hours before he or she finally dozes off again. That choice to do good for their child is love.
When I was a young teenager, one of my best friend’s mom was a bit of a nut case. (Trust me, I’m being kind here.) She physically and verbally abused my friend repeatedly, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say constantly. Even after all these years I can still vividly recall the following....
My friend’s mom was once again trying to beat him, but this time he held her off with a kitchen knife. He was waving the knife back and forth, feigning a jab here and a jab there as he mom tried to get to him. The adrenaline was flowing and my friend was hyper to the max. Suddenly he gasped and fainted. His mom pounced on him and began to pound on his chest with her fist as she cried “I love you. I love you.” And all I could think was “Thank God she doesn’t love me.”
My friends, love doesn’t hurt the beloved. If you are physically, emotionally, sexually, or verbally abusing family members or others, stop it now! Do not delude yourself, abusive behavior is not love.
Love is the choice to do good!
So make those new year resolutions. Resolve to enrich the soil of your family this year with love. It is God’s will that every member of your family should bloom and reach his or her full human potential. Remember:
1. Family Comes Before Things
2. Love means sharing yourself and your time
3. Touch is the Bond of Love. Love is not innate. It is learned through the experience of being loved.
4. Love is the choice to forgive.
5. Love is the choice to accept others as they are.
6. Love is the choice to do good for another.
St. John: “Let us love in deeds....and not merely talk about it.”
